noun
- 1.the time taken by a planet to make one revolution around the sun.
- 2.the period of 365 days
I don't know about ya'll, but for me, anniversaries always get my emotions flowing. This week I've continually been asking myself if it's really been a whole revolution around the sun. It feels like just yesterday I was pulling out of Dickinson, crying halfway to CO. But, the sun and earth in their perfect harmony don't lie. Their calculations are correct, it's been a year.
Whenever we talk with people from back home, the first question is always, "How's it going?"
When we meet new people here and tell them of our move, they always ask, "How has the transition been?"
Often we respond with, "How much time do you have?"
And that isn't a joke.
It's been a year.
Literally.
Figuratively.
It's been a year.
Blogging at times has been a form of therapy for me. The funny thing is, I hardly ever go back and read what I have written. Today, I took some time and read through many previous posts and many of my personal journal entries. It's amazing how quickly we forget the stories and testimonies of God's work in our lives. Yet, some of the entries I find myself still resonating with way too closely--areas where I see I haven't fully surrendered, even though I thought I had.
From my personal journal almost a year ago:
"What I need is God's surgical procedure- His use of external circumstances to bring about internal purification." ~Oswald Chambers.
I know that kind of purification will be a lifelong journey, but I feel God has used this year to really perform an operation on my heart. Through struggles in finances, finding a church, housing, school, work, friends, teens, transitions, our kids' trauma...it's been tough. This year has looked almost the complete opposite of what we thought it would. It hasn't been just a mole removal, but a whole heart transplant.
Even though it's been tough, I am thankful. Thankful for a God that draws us close to Him. Thankful for the Holy Spirit that slowly etches away the hardness of our hearts. Thankful for Jesus that died upon the cross--with my sins holding Him there.
I'm even thankful for the hard days.
Bobby and I are even closer.
Our dependence and understanding of God are deeper.
Our family has been knit together tighter.
I think one of the hardest things for our move has been the very fact that it's been hard. Things fell into place very easily for us to move down here---so easily that we were continually being told, "See, this is God's plan for you," or other similar comments. Then, once we moved and things got hard, those very comments that were engraved in us made us question, "Is this really where we are supposed to be?"
How have we combatted those questions that are really lies?
1. Scripture and praise (personal time, family time, couple time)
2. Close friends (the ones whom we can completely confide in that'll listen, encourage, and speak truth)
2. Close friends (the ones whom we can completely confide in that'll listen, encourage, and speak truth)
3. Our marriage (lifting each other up, serving one another, pouring into each other's needs)
3. Journalling/reflecting (so we remember and can really ponder His goodness in EVERYTHING)
(I think I've decided to print the post that outlines our timeline of how we got here as a reminder of God's provision.)
(I think I've decided to print the post that outlines our timeline of how we got here as a reminder of God's provision.)
As the surgical procedure continues, I've also found that being honest with myself and searching my heart has been a big help and redirection when I get off course. A few questions I ask myself continually:
- What is my posture toward God?
- Do I believe God is good, even when I don't understand?
- Are my choices reflecting my love and trust for Him?
- Is my life glorifying God, or myself?
My biggest prayer lately has been:
Lord, where you see fit to change things, help me to be okay with it.
Lord, where you see fit to change things, help me to be okay with it.
And with that...
BRING ON YEAR 2!
BRING ON YEAR 2!
Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
