Removing the Facade

Façade: a superficial appearance or illusion of something...

Dear family and friends,

I'm writing this post to pull the reigns back a little bit, and to hopefully remove the façade that I've created.

There is a tough line adoptive parents have to walk along.  On one side of the line lies the wonderful, happy, great aspects of adoption and the child(ren) that God has placed in your family.  On the other lies some painful, hard, discouraging truths that must be trudged through.

Sharing too much information one way or the other can very easily create a façade that in the end is indeed a superficial representation of the truth.

Without sharing information that we have decided to keep private, I'm telling you that just because we traveled across the seas to a foreign land and had a great meeting with our boys, it's not that simple.

There are many trials and hard times lying ahead.  Some that we even experienced while we were there...

Let me put a few superficial truths to rest:

• Yes, both D and N can speak enough English to communicate and interact. 
  No, they are not fluent English speakers, readers or writers.
• Yes, our time in country with them was wonderful and they were much more open and comfortable with us than we had expected. 
  No, we do not expect it to be easy for them to leave a place they have called home for almost FOUR years and all the friends they have made.  They have a big, hard adjustment coming.
• Yes, there was a strong connection and bond made.
  No, we are by not by any means passed the bonding or attaching process.  Not even a wink.
• Yes, they were in the US for a year with His Little Feet. 
  No, they are not accustomed to the US way of life---we've got some silly stories proving it;)
• Yes, they are considered "healthy" children.
  No, we are not in the clear from various issues regarding their health.
• Yes, they are extremely excited for school at Hope.
  No, school is not going to be easy for them (or their teachers, or us!).
• Yes, we know a lot about them and got to know them well in the short 10 days we were with them.
  No, we do not know them inside and out.  We have a lot of learning about each other to do, a lot of catching up to do, and a lot of healing to do.
• Yes, the boys bonded very well with Eli.
  No, this does not mean the bonding with the rest of our family will necessarily come as easily. 

My intent is not to be negative, but rather for others to understand some of the truths behind the façade I may have portrayed that everything was wonderful, great, and easy.

The downright truth:  adoption is not easy.  We are learning....and we've got a long ways to go!  BUT....we are so blessed by the 6 children God has entrusted to us, and we love them so very dearly! 

The distance between us is very, very hard.  But, we know both their hearts and ours have a lot of preparing to do before we are cleared to bring them home.