It's Sunday afternoon...I should be getting my appetizers ready for our family Super Bowl Party or taking a nap. But instead, I'm urged to sit down and write the feelings I've experienced this week.
I just got done rocking Owen...tears flowing freely down my cheeks and rolling onto his forehead. I'm hurting, aching, and overwhelmed. I honestly can't find the words to try to express what is going on in my heart right now! All I do know is God has changed me. He has shown me some truths that are so hard to see.
This week I was listening to Pandora when the song "I Saw What I Saw" by Sara Groves came on. Listening intently, tears started flowing as the song reminded me of this journey we are on. A journey to not only help fatherless children, but a journey to show others God's love and to move Christians to act as Christ followers.
Turn the playlist on pause and watch this music video:
Bobby and I have been preparing for our adoptions in so many different ways. One of those ways is to learn about the countries of Ethiopia and the Congo. This week we viewed a few youtube videos about the Congo. (I've linked some of them on our blog page "About the DRC") One man describes the Congo as "a nightmare in Heaven." Others refer to it as "hell on earth." I've heard this before, but watching the videos, seeing the faces of the lost and hurt makes the reality a little clearer.
The Congo...a country where the Rwanda genocide has now crossed into their borders...a country who's death toll has surpassed that of the Holocaust...a country with extreme wealth but no government....a country who's people are amongst the poorest in the world...a country where disease and AIDS has decimated their population.
Their pain has changed me. Their dreams inspire me. I know what I know and I CAN'T erase it.
As I sat in Sunday School this morning listening to talk about prayer, I could not help but think of the African children who are stuck in the middle of crisis, poverty, crime, and brutality. Children who fall into witchcraft, prostitution, slavery, or war. Comments were made about how many Africans pray diligently, often as the Father is their only hope. But here we are a half a world away living in such extreme luxury and comfort and yet we are pulled away from prayer or a relationship with Christ by our the worldy society we live in.
I cannot change what God has called us to do, even if it is overwhelming, trying, and seems impossible at times. But, I CAN do everything with continual prayer and obedience to Him.
I Th 5:16-18
Be joyful always;
pray continually;
give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Love from our family to yours!
Courtney, you have so much more eloquently than I ever could what I feel in my heart. You are much further along in your journey toward adoption...but I completely understand your heart on this. I heard this song by Sara Groves about 4 months ago and it really hit me the same way.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read James 1:27 in context, I can't separate it from James 1:22-25:
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do."
Thanks for sharing your heart!
Staci
Oops...I meant to say that you have "elequently said"... :)
DeleteHi! I randomly stumbled upon your blog one day. We are adopting through the DRC with the same agency. We submitted our paperwork around the same time too! I can't wait to follow your journey! Maybe we'll see each other in the DRC ;).
ReplyDelete