Saturday, October 12, 2013

10 Days Home...

I'm not going to lie, it's been a long week. 
Special, wonderful, and good....but long, tough, and exhausting! 
 
A few nights I've laid in bed wondering how I'd have the energy to get up, tears flowing down my face as I try to comprehend all that has changed for our family...and more importantly all that has changed for our boys. 
 
We have habits and expectations to break...and numerous things to teach {including not only educational things, but day to day life as a family}. 

In the 10 days home we've shared tears, laughs, and story after story.
 
We've learned a lot. 
We've grown a lot.
 
We've had to bite our tongues, roll our eyes, and laugh off things that drive us nuts.
 
But hard as it's been, it's been joyful. 
 
Seeing the excitement on their faces as the snow fell....
on their first day of school......
enjoying our first family movie night....
And learning how to compromise when it comes to food....
We continue to learn more about each other every day.  
With God's love and through the grace we've received,
we're able to share that love and offer grace to them. 
 
Today was refreshing as I was able to spend some time away from the home for awhile--having coffee/lunch with S, visiting B and sweet C in the hospital, and enjoying some one on one time with miss Ayla.
 
AND....

I was able to pick up our homecoming photos from our photographer. 
What a great reminder of how much of a blessing D and N are to our family. 
Even though this season may be overwhelming, we wouldn't have it any other way! 
God chose D and N to be a part of our family, and we love them soooooo very much. 
 
Enjoy these wonderful photos of our family of EIGHT being united!!!!

 
A special thanks to Broken Anchor Photography for capturing this night so perfectly!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Beginning Life as EIGHT!

I'm overwhelmed with happiness today as our six children lie in their beds napping from the eventful day we've had!

From leaving our guest house to arriving home we spent 36 hours traveling.  We got into Dickinson last night and were POOPED.  We literally had to pull Detcho off the plane as we whispered, "We're here."

We walked into the airport to find a grove of family and friends.  I was overwhelmed with the sight and did my best to hold back the tears, trying to stay calm and collected for the boys. I did pretty well until everyone broke out singing "God is So Good."
It was a beautiful night(can't wait to share more pictures someday soon!!).  Addy was quiet, but didn't want Nahagi to leave her side.  The boys were so happy to see so many people--even if they were tired and a little shy!  And Owen, Eli, and Ayla were just giddy!
First sibling photo!

We drove home last night a family of 8 as the kiddos chatted nonstop.  The boys were overly excited to see the entire house and to play with their siblings and kept saying, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
We stayed up way too late, and then tucked SIX wonderful children into bed.  Tears gushed down my cheeks as I walked down the hall thanking God for each of them.

Today we woke EARLY---all six were up before 7 and ready to enjoy a day of bonding.  Nahagi jumps at any chance to help...

They played outside for a few hours this morning.  Bikes were first on their list (thanks friends!!!).  The some hiking and nerf gun wars.  Nahagi came up to me outside whispering, "Thank you mom.  Thank you for everything."  And Detcho....he hasn't stopped smiling one second.

I've been unpacking and doing laundry most of the morning, letting the kids have time together.  I came around the corner to them cuddling and visiting on the couches---and yes, I cried again as I snapped a few photos:)
Praising God today for all He has done. And thanking Him for all who helped us get here...
Prayerfully
Financially
Watching kiddos
Watching dogs
Picking kiddos up from school
Mental support
Notes of encouragement
The list goes on....
Please don't stop the prayers...as the journey is really just beginning. 

Psalm 7:17

I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Not For the Faint of Heart

These past three years have taken us through just about every emotion imaginable. The highs, the lows, and everything in between. We've experienced incredible joy, heartbreaking disappointments, moments of uncertainty, and blessings beyond anything we could have anticipated.

Adoption is not easy. It is most definitely NOT for the faint of heart.

And these past few days have reminded us of that in ways we never could have imagined. Of all the emotional ups and downs we've experienced throughout this journey, the last three days have undoubtedly been the most overwhelming.

On Thursday, we were up before sunrise and headed to the airport for our flight from Addis Ababa to Dire Dawa, a city about forty miles from Harar, the boys' birth town. From Dire Dawa, we climbed into a van and made our way to Harar. Both places were noticeably different from Addis Ababa, with smaller communities, fewer cars, and older buildings. And somehow, the people seemed even more welcoming, which I honestly hadn't thought was possible!

As we approached Harar, Nahagi began recognizing the roads. He knew every twist and turn long before we reached his village, and eventually, he asked our driver to stop. He knew EXACTLY where we needed to turn!

We left the main road and began bouncing along a dirt path that clearly wasn't used by vehicles very often. We had barely made it a few feet when a little girl, probably about six years old, spotted our van and came running toward us.

"NAHAGI! NAHAGI!"

She was SO excited! She ran alongside the van as we continued down the path toward the boys' community, calling out to Nahagi the entire way.
Before we knew it, people of all ages were gathering around us. They knew the boys, and they welcomed them—and us—with open arms, hugs, and kisses. It was an incredible homecoming, filled with familiar faces and so much emotion.

And that began our day in Harar.

For the sake of keeping the boys' story THEIR story, I'm not going to share photographs or many of the details of our visit. Those memories belong to them, and I want to honor that. But I will say that the day was wonderfully special, filled with many tears, and something we all needed to experience.

While in Harar, we also had the opportunity to explore the city, enjoy lunch, and visit Abenezer-Harar, where the boys had lived before being moved to Abenezer-Addis Ababa. Lunch was an adventure of its own, especially when Nahagi ordered Kitfo Tibs—raw beef!! It was another opportunity to experience a little more of the culture and traditions that are such an important part of our boys' heritage.

A photo of Detcho 4 years ago!
 Streets of Harar...


 

 

Looking back, I am SO thankful that we made the decision to travel to Harar with the boys. Was it heartbreaking? Absolutely. Was it emotionally difficult? More than I can possibly explain. But it was also incredibly important for them and for us.

Someday, perhaps we'll share more of what happened during our visit. For now, I simply ask that you keep our boys in your prayers. Their young hearts have already been through so much, and there is a great deal for them to process as they prepare for another enormous change in their lives.

After our time in Harar, we returned to our hotel in Dire Dawa, where we stayed up late enjoying supper in our room and watching movies together. After such an emotionally exhausting day, it was wonderful to have a quiet evening with our boys.

On Friday, we spent the first half of the day exploring Dire Dawa before catching our flight back to Addis Ababa. We walked along the beautiful tree-lined streets, watched monkeys playing, and wandered through the market. At Nahagi's request, we stopped at a little shop to buy some baklava and another sweet treat he loves. He told us its name, which sounded something like "ha-luh-wah." Whatever it was, he was certainly excited about it!

And to top off our little adventure, we even took a ride in a horse-and-buggy taxi!




 
  

It was wonderful to spend time exploring these places with the boys and experiencing some of the sights, foods, and everyday activities they were familiar with. Every little experience helped us learn more about them and the country they call home.

But as much as we enjoyed those moments, we knew another emotional day awaited us when we returned to Addis.

This morning, we woke up with lumps in our throats, knowing we were about to take the boys back to Abenezer for their Going Away Ceremony. We had heard about the ceremony from other adoptive families and knew it was an important tradition at the orphanage. But we didn't know exactly what to expect, and we certainly weren't prepared for just how emotional it would be.

When we arrived, everyone gathered in the schoolroom and dining area. The children were seated around the room, and our boys came in wearing their traditional Ethiopian outfits.

It was such a special sight, but I could already feel the tears coming.

The ceremony began with the staff calling our family forward so they could pray for us. As we stood before everyone, the emotions became overwhelming. Nearly everyone was crying, including Detcho, who was SOBBING in the arms of the orphanage director.

Oh, how my heart ached for our sweet boy!

It was difficult to make it through the prayer with so many tears flowing. There was so much love in that room, but there was also the unmistakable sadness of knowing that the boys were saying goodbye to people who had been part of their lives for years.



After the prayer, the four of us were seated while the other children came forward to give Detcho and Nahagi pictures they had made for them, along with plenty of hugs. It was incredibly touching to watch their friends say goodbye and share these special little gifts.

Then the boys and several of their friends treated us to traditional Ethiopian songs and dancing. What a beautiful way to celebrate them and the friendships they had built over the years! We finished the ceremony by enjoying a wonderful assortment of treats together.

 

 
 


 

A few hours later, it was time to leave.

We climbed into the van and prepared to pull away from Abenezer, a place that was so dear to our boys and had become incredibly special to us as well.

Even the grown men were standing around the van with tears in their eyes. Earlier in the day, one of the men had pulled me aside to make sure I understood just how special Detcho and Nahagi were to everyone at Abenezer. He explained that the entire week had been difficult for the staff and children as they prepared to say goodbye.

Our boys had been there for so long that they had become a significant part of the Abenezer family. They were loved deeply, and their departure was going to leave an enormous hole in the hearts of the people who had cared for them.

Hearing those words meant so much to me. As a mother, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the people who had loved our boys during the years when we couldn't be there.

But I was also heartbroken for the boys as they prepared to leave behind so much of what was familiar to them.

It was another beautiful, meaningful day, but it was also an incredibly difficult one.

We ask that you continue lifting Detcho and Nahagi up in prayer. They've experienced several very emotional days, and there is so much for them to work through as they prepare for the next chapter of their lives.

We have two more days in Ethiopia before beginning our journey home. The boys ARE excited and anxious to come home with us, and we are beyond thrilled to finally bring them home to their brothers and sisters.

But in the midst of all that excitement, we keep reminding them that it's OKAY to be sad. It's okay to miss the people they love, to grieve the things they're leaving behind, and to feel more than one emotion at the same time.

We know that coming home to our family is something they've been looking forward to, but we also know that leaving Ethiopia means saying goodbye to a country, a community, and people who have been an important part of their lives.

Our hearts are overflowing with love for these boys, and we are praying that God will give them comfort, peace, and reassurance as we walk through these changes together.

Adoption truly isn't for the faint of heart.

But oh, how grateful we are for the privilege of being their parents and walking alongside them through every joy and every challenge that lies ahead.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Unhidden JOY

I love this country. 
LOVE IT.

As we drove through the streets of Addis Ababa last night, I was overcome by a feeling I can hardly explain. There is something about returning to Ethiopia that fills my heart with joy. Yes, the poverty and need we see along the streets can be overwhelming and difficult to comprehend, but there is so much more to this beautiful country.

The love. The community. The PEOPLE.

They are BEAUTIFUL. The way people interact with one another, care for one another, and share their lives is something I will never forget. I find myself falling more and more in love with Ethiopia every time we visit.

This morning, we were picked up early to head over to the orphanage before our embassy appointment. As we drove through the city, I found myself taking in the familiar sights. The same streets, the same shops, and the same potholes—well, perhaps a few new ones! But most importantly, the same beautiful people who had made such an impression on us during our first visit.

Just a few minutes into our drive, we noticed something different. When we were here in July, the children were enjoying their school break, so we hadn't experienced the morning rush of students heading to class.

But this morning? OH MY!

There were HUNDREDS of children walking hand in hand along the streets, dressed in their school uniforms and making their way to school. Street after street, alley after alley, they seemed to be everywhere! Watching them walk together, talking and enjoying one another's company, brought me so much joy. It was such a beautiful glimpse of everyday life in Addis Ababa, and I couldn't stop smiling.

But that joy was nothing compared with what awaited us when we pulled through the orphanage gates.

Detcho and Nahagi were READY and waiting for us, and the joy on their faces was absolutely unmistakable!

After all the months of waiting, all the uncertainty, and all the time we'd spent longing to be together, the moment we'd dreamed about was FINALLY here. We wrapped our arms around one another and hugged for what seemed like forever before climbing into the car for our embassy appointment.

I can hardly describe the emotions of that morning. There was so much excitement and relief, but more than anything, there was an overwhelming sense of JOY.

Our boys were ready. They were SO ready.

After spending nearly four years living in an orphanage, they knew that their time there was finally coming to an end. Their family was here, and they were getting ready to come HOME.

FOREVER!

If only you could see the love these boys have for us and the love we have for them. It's almost impossible to believe that we haven't been together for years. Our relationship has grown in ways I never could have anticipated, and being together already feels so natural.

I can't even begin to count how many times one of the boys caught me grinning today. I simply couldn't help myself! But they knew exactly why their momma was smiling and giggling. They could see the joy written all over my face, and their own excitement was just as impossible to hide.

We spent so much of the day exchanging smiles, laughing together, and enjoying the simple happiness of finally being together.

Their joy was unhidden.

And so was mine.

We're back at the guesthouse for the evening now, and the boys have just finished showering and getting into their adorable new pajamas. Thank you, M and K! They look SO cute!

We have an early morning ahead of us. We need to be in the lobby by 5:30 a.m. for our flight to Harar, the boys' birth town. We'll spend Thursday and Friday visiting and exploring before returning to Addis Ababa late Friday afternoon.

I'm looking forward to learning more about the place our boys come from and spending this special time with them.

For tonight, though, I'm simply enjoying the overwhelming blessing of having my boys here with us.

After all the waiting, our family is finally one step closer to being HOME TOGETHER!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Angels in Adoption

A few weeks ago I got an email in my junk mail titled "Angels in Adoption Welcome Packet."   There's that annoying computer smart thing that finds just the right ads and right junk emails to send you that line up with everything going on in your life.  So I almost scrolled past this one, but decided to open it.

Long story short, ND's Senator Heitkamp chose Bobby and I as ND's Angels in Adoption this year.  We've been a little taken back by all the press it has brought, as we are truly humbled to receive this award.  In fact, at first we had planned to not tell anyone and just let it play out.

Then the press called. 
And the news station. 

So much for keeping the award quiet!

You see, we do not foster or adopt to get any sort of "fame" or award or "good works" mentality. We simply do it because this is the life God has called us to.

You see, we are no Super Couple with everything put together.  We are no Super Parents who have parenting figured out to a T with unending patience and grace.

EVERY SINGLE DAY  I wake up and ask God to help me through the day.  I ask for patience, grace, energy, joy, and enough love to go around. 

And I fail. 

EVERY.

SINGLE.

DAY.


We're asked all the time, "How do you do it?"
Well, I'm here to tell you there is NO WAY we could do this without God's grace and guidance. 
NO WAY.

We started the foster journey 7 years ago.  Adoption, 3.  Through these years we have found that when we fail, it's because we are in a slump in which we feel sufficient on our own.  The times when we're lacking in prayer time.  Lacking in time in the Word. 
 
We ARE NOT sufficient on our own. 
WE
CANNOT
DO
THIS
ALONE.  
 
And in addition to God's loving hands equipping us along the way, we have many others who give us support and encouragement.
  • Those who pray for our family.
  • People who give financially when they understand the cost of adoption is far too much for an every day couple like us.
  • People who send us notes of encouragement.
  • Friends who we can call when we need to vent to or be real with.
  • Those that I can call at the drop of a hat to watch the kids while we go to doctor appointments, get more signatures, or don't want to go to Wal-Mart with four kids hanging off my cart.
  • Friends who bring us meals when we have a new child in our home.
  • Those who still invite our large family over for dinners and get-togethers.
  • The MANY people who step up and help us at church, AWANAs or other events.
And my mom.  Can I just publicly say how awesome she is!?!??!  How many fifty-something-year-olds are so open and willing to take your children for weeks when you need to travel???  OR who says yes EVERY SINGLE TIME you call saying, "Would you mind having two more kiddos tomorrow when you're watching the kids?"

 

You my friends and family.  YOU are the Angels in Adoption.   

 
For those that always say, "I could never do it"....
You're often the ones that ARE doing it....
by helping us along the way.

**I do want to encourage EVERYONE to at least consider and pray about being a foster parent.  We had two littles in our house this week.  The social worker knew we would be leaving soon so she searched and searched to find a home for the boys.  She couldn't find a home for them together, so they are being split.  When she came over yesterday to pick the littlest up, she told me they just got 3 more children in their care. 
Their case load keeps growing and growing. 
But the number of foster parents does not.
 
We are ALL called to care for orphans. 
Don't feel like you need to be some put-together-perfect family to step out of your comfort zone and do something.
 
 
2 Corinthians 12:9-10But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  

Monday, September 9, 2013

I Hear You...

When we were in Ethiopia our boys asked numerous times when we would be returning...we kept giving them generalized answers, but they wanted more (just as I find myself wanting now).

Finally we gave in and asked our coordinator what she thought as far as a time table...we were told 6-8 weeks post court.  

So, the day we left we gave our boys some letters to hold on to...and we told them we'd be retuning in ABOUT 45 days (8 weeks post court).  We explained that this was an estimate but that we were hoping to be back by then (last week in September).

Since then we have heard that our boys are LITERALLY counting down the days...fully believing we'll be back by then.

As this week begins, we can't help but beg God to give us some answers as to when we will be returning.  We know we still have 2 weeks to make it within that time frame...but there's still a lot to be done before we are cleared.  

Today I emailed our travel coordinator and asked if she has any insight.  She responded by telling me the US Embassy in Ethiopia is behind right now but she doesn't know what that means for us.  She is hoping to be in contact with them tomorrow and then will get back to us.

Just a couple hours after putting a note on FB asking for prayers, I open up my nightly devotional....

Okay God. I hear you.  I will wait in obedience to you. It is not easy...my heart aches knowing my boys may be let down, wondering when we are returning.  My heart aches to not have them home for movie nights, fresh peach pie, family dinners, bedtime prayers, and all our other family shindigs.  We're a tree trying to survive missing two of its branches....and we're ready for the last chapter of the "before home" adoption process....BUT...

Gods timetable is ALWAYS perfect.  

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Have You Heard??

This is a question I get numerous times a day....and I don't get sick of it!  I love the fact that so many of my friends and family truly care about our family, including our 2 biggest boys who are waiting to come home.

And to publicly answer: No. We haven't heard from the embassy since we were submitted two weeks ago.  What we do know is this: there have been some changes in the embassy staff AND there is a much higher number of families they are dealing with right now.  We also know that typically (is that even such a word in "Adoptionology"???) families have heard SOMETHING by now.

And so we have no idea what the next few weeks hold.  We just know the embassy received our paperwork two weeks ago and they'll let us know when the status has changed.

Trust me, the whole world will know when we have cleared and can make plans to bring Detcho and Nahagi HOME.

In the meantime...
  • We continue to prepare our home and family for the changes that are coming 
  • We continue to pray for the boys and for their hearts to be readied to come home
  • We  continue to read books and seek advice from other adoptive families on how to help the boys and our family with adjusting and attaching
  • We  continue to TRUST and truly BELIEVE in God's sovereignty
Over the past month I've believed in God's sovereignty more than ever before.  Yes, I would LOVE to hear word that our case has cleared and we can go get our boys....Yes, I'm dying to have my boys run into my arms again and to hold them close...Yes, I am ready for the changes, heartache, and perseverance.

But, that time has not come yet.  It could be two weeks, three weeks, or more than five weeks away.  No matter the outcome, I know God has a plan and has complete control.

God acts with perfect wisdom and has never made a mistake. All things work together for our good, no matter the circumstance or desire we are feeling.  God has a plan and I can rest assured through the trust I have in Him. 

The feeling of having children thousands of miles away is not easy to manage.  Having met them, spent a week with them, and started the bonding process makes it even harder.  But, we know they are safe. We know they are being cared for.  And we know God is with them.  They've been in the orphanage for almost four years.  They can manage a few more weeks....and so can we. 

And while WE are waiting....so are they.  I continually pray that they feel God's sovereignty and know that He loves them so dearly.  I pray they feel the love we have for them, and that they are  happy and healthy during their final wait without a family.

Yesterday we got an update that Detcho's TB test came back negative!!!!!!!!!  YIPEEE!!!!  That means no additional testing will need to be done.

Today, we got an update including a few photos and a note that said, "Detcho really wants to tell you 'Hello,  love you sooooo much!!!!!'"

Be still, my heart.  And wait for God.  He is never late.  He has full control.