I never thought I'd be a blogger...but 26 months ago I started this blog as a way for our friends and family to follow our journey through adoption and understand what this journey entails. Even though adoption is a beautiful gift, it's not always what it may seem.
After accepting our referral, we were filled with overwhelming feelings of happiness, fullness, and love. We quickly got on the phone to make arrangements needed to compile our needed paperwork. We printed pictures of our boys to hang on our fridge. We shared with family and friends the joyous news that we're adding 4 little (well, not so little!) feet to our family. We've been overwhelmed with information and little tidbits on our boys from others...and oh, we cannot wait to be able to share more with you all! Our hearts were overflowing....
About a week after accepting the referral, reality began to sink in. Yes, we are joyful. Yes, we know this is what God has called us to do. Yes, we love D and N so incredibly much ALREADY.
BUT, this isn't going to be easy.
There are many physical things to sort out.
paperwork (moooorrreee paperwork!)
travel (two trips)
schooling
bedrooms
clothing
language barriers
etc.
And there are many other feelings that are beginning to surface.
Scared.
Worried.
Heartbroken.
Nervous.
Unprepared.
I've been extremely emotional these past two days. During worship yesterday I was standing and praying that God would help calm my fears and help equip us for the decisions and changes that will be coming. Emotions were scrolling through my mind and I was praying for assurance...
And then the next song began.
Immediately my face was covered in tears as one of my best friends started singing Amazing Grace. This particular friend (along with God and Bobby) has been my rock through this journey. Hearing her voice singing,
"Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved"
opened the gates! My face was streaming with tears as I was reminded of the grace that I've been given and the fears that are washed away with God by my side.
This hard, tough, emotional journey is a direct reflection of Christ's work in us. We didn't wake up one day and decide, "Hmmm, I think we'll adopt 3 children from Africa."
It was a process. A change of heart. A passion for the fatherless that God put with in us. It was a process of "dying to ourselves" and giving ourselves over to Him and what He calls us to do. We didn't sign up for this thinking it was going to be all peaches and roses.
We've all heard the saying, "God does not give us more than we can handle." I used to say it myself. But now I know better and I find the truth to be the exact opposite.
We need His help.
There is no other way.
Yes, this is going to be hard and we'll be overwhelmed at times.
BUT
We must realize this is much larger than us. And through Him, all things are possible.
After accepting our referral, we were filled with overwhelming feelings of happiness, fullness, and love. We quickly got on the phone to make arrangements needed to compile our needed paperwork. We printed pictures of our boys to hang on our fridge. We shared with family and friends the joyous news that we're adding 4 little (well, not so little!) feet to our family. We've been overwhelmed with information and little tidbits on our boys from others...and oh, we cannot wait to be able to share more with you all! Our hearts were overflowing....
About a week after accepting the referral, reality began to sink in. Yes, we are joyful. Yes, we know this is what God has called us to do. Yes, we love D and N so incredibly much ALREADY.
BUT, this isn't going to be easy.
There are many physical things to sort out.
paperwork (moooorrreee paperwork!)
travel (two trips)
schooling
bedrooms
clothing
language barriers
etc.
And there are many other feelings that are beginning to surface.
Scared.
Worried.
Heartbroken.
Nervous.
Unprepared.
I've been extremely emotional these past two days. During worship yesterday I was standing and praying that God would help calm my fears and help equip us for the decisions and changes that will be coming. Emotions were scrolling through my mind and I was praying for assurance...
And then the next song began.
Immediately my face was covered in tears as one of my best friends started singing Amazing Grace. This particular friend (along with God and Bobby) has been my rock through this journey. Hearing her voice singing,
"Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved"
opened the gates! My face was streaming with tears as I was reminded of the grace that I've been given and the fears that are washed away with God by my side.
This hard, tough, emotional journey is a direct reflection of Christ's work in us. We didn't wake up one day and decide, "Hmmm, I think we'll adopt 3 children from Africa."
It was a process. A change of heart. A passion for the fatherless that God put with in us. It was a process of "dying to ourselves" and giving ourselves over to Him and what He calls us to do. We didn't sign up for this thinking it was going to be all peaches and roses.
We've all heard the saying, "God does not give us more than we can handle." I used to say it myself. But now I know better and I find the truth to be the exact opposite.
I'm living "more than I can handle."
God DOES give us more than we can handle, so we can see His hands in our lives.We need His help.
There is no other way.
Yes, this is going to be hard and we'll be overwhelmed at times.
BUT
We must realize this is much larger than us. And through Him, all things are possible.
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures
I love your blog and have been following your family's journey. Please keep writing!
ReplyDeleteI am also in the process of adopting, and just this week I started my own blog, Children Deserve Families
I am so excited about this new adoption. I'm so interested to see the boys integrate into your family. We will be praying they will come home quickly and that you will receive exactly what you need from God to get thru each day.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a commenting type, but I linked to your blog from a blog role of a new follower of my blog (I have no idea who this person is, so was perusing a bit to see) and couldn't agree more with your post. I have one of my own with the same title! http://roomformore-mn.blogspot.com/2013/03/more-than-you-can-handle.html The "God never gives you more than handle" line is not only not Biblical, it is not true, and does not serve to glorify God, but man. So, as a complete stranger I wanted to encourage you to keep living your "more than you can handle" life to the glory of God!!!
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